Your Sack

Amerivan
SM
MD
LG
XL
2X
Dude
Lady
$15
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Amerivan

transfer / navy / 100% cotton

God bless you, god bless the United States of America, and god bless this sweet ass van.

Funshine
SM
MD
LG
XL
2X
Dude
Lady
$15
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Funshine

transfer / gold / 100% cotton

Take this shirt out for a cruise. It's just like having a real van, but a lot less rapey. Okay, maybe not a lot...

Uncle Gus And His Party Bus
SM
MD
LG
XL
2X
Dude
Lady
$15
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Uncle Gus And His Party Bus

transfer / heather black / 90% cotton/10% poly

Yeah, everyone calls me "Uncle", even my ex-wife.

Your Hair Looks Great!
SM
MD
LG
XL
2X
Dude
Lady
$15
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Your Hair Looks Great!

silkscreen / heather black / 90% cotton/10% poly

It does, it really does. Nobody can tell that you just woke up.

You Are Awesome!
SM
MD
LG
XL
2X
Dude
Lady
$15
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You Are Awesome!

silkscreen / olive / 100% cotton

You are, you really are. Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars (instead of the Doritos).

You Smell Super Good!
SM
MD
LG
XL
2X
Dude
Lady
$15
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You Smell Super Good!

silkscreen / army / 100% cotton

You do, you really do. Not at all like that dude in the Poop shirt.

Poop
SM
MD
LG
XL
2X
Dude
Lady
$15
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Poop

silkscreen / brown / 100% cotton

Yeah wear it for a couple days without washing it and then tell me how funny it is.

Moist
SM
MD
LG
XL
2X
Dude
Lady
$15
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Moist

silkscreen / army / 100% cotton

Even saying that cake is moist makes my mouth sweaty.

The Clothes

We use only the highest quality fitted t-shirts with a stylish and flattering fit. Cotton and poly/cotton blend fabrics are smooth and soft and many of them are woven right here in the good ole USA. Sizes tend to run small, so order one size larger if you don't usually wear fitted tees.

Skylab
SM
MD
LG
XL
2X
Dude
Lady
$15
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Skylab

transfer / heather black / 90% cotton/10% poly

On July 11, 1979, the first US space station fell out of orbit. Brag about it.

Federal Colonies
SM
MD
LG
XL
2X
Dude
Lady
$15
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Federal Colonies

silkscreen / black / 100% cotton

You migh totally recall this from Total Recall. See you at the party.

Cobra Kai
SM
MD
LG
XL
2X
Dude
Lady
$15
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Cobra Kai

silkscreen / black / 100% cotton

If you ask me, sweep the leg is just good coaching.

Crazy for Swayze
SM
MD
LG
XL
2X
Dude
Lady
$15
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Crazy for Swayze

transfer / cranberry heather tank / 90% cotton/10% poly

As if Swayze ever needed to wear a shirt...

Puddin'
SM
MD
LG
XL
2X
Dude
Lady
$15
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Puddin'

silkscreen / gold / 100% cotton

A shirt so great, you won't even remember wearing it.

Juicy
SM
MD
LG
XL
2X
Dude
Lady
$15
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Juicy

transfer / heather gray / 90% cotton/10% poly

White Bronco and homicidal rage sold separately.

You're Not the Boss of Me
SM
MD
LG
XL
2X
Dude
Lady
$15
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You're Not the Boss of Me

silkscreen / red / 100% cotton

I do what I want, Bruce Springsteen. You're not my real dad anyway.

The Head

Make sure you look for the Uncle Jack head logo on the sleeve. Then you will know the shirt is authentically awesome.

Go Bares
SM
MD
LG
XL
2X
Dude
Lady
$15
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Go Bares

silkscreen / white / 100% cotton

The best way to show your nuts about football.

Mr. Yuck
SM
MD
LG
XL
2X
Dude
Lady
$15
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Mr. Yuck

transfer / army / 100% cotton

As seen on Bud Light cans.

Kool-Aid Dude
SM
MD
LG
XL
2X
Dude
Lady
$15
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Kool-Aid Dude

silkscreen / purple / 100% cotton

This shirt is tremendous. It's going to be yuge. And not even the Kool-Aid man can crash through the border wall.

Pricing

All shirts are $15 unless otherwise noted in the description. Shipping is always included.

Amish Country - Fuck Yeah!
SM
MD
LG
XL
2X
Dude
Lady
$15
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Amish Country - Fuck Yeah!

silkscreen / heather black / 90% cotton/10% poly

Wear this motherfucker to get some fucken pie and some fucken handmade furniture.

I Am Awesome
SM
MD
LG
XL
2X
Dude
Lady
$15
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I Am Awesome

silkscreen / brown / 100% cotton

Rather than calling up everyone in the world and telling them, just get this shirt. It's not lazy, it's economical.

Magic Bullet
SM
MD
LG
XL
2X
Dude
Lady
$15
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Magic Bullet

silkscreen / new silver / 100% cotton

It's no conspiracy - you will love this shirt.

Chum
SM
MD
LG
XL
2X
Dude
Lady
$15
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Chum

transfer / navy / 100% cotton

You're definitely going to need a bigger boat... to hold all your stylish awesomeness.

Cleveland: At Least We're Not Detroit
SM
MD
LG
XL
2X
Dude
Lady
10
Add to sack

Cleveland: At Least We're Not Detroit

transfer / gray / 100% cotton

Not yet, anyway...

Dog
SM
MD
LG
XL
2X
Dude
Lady
$15
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Dog

transfer / black / 100% cotton

Look sharp! (Get it? Like the teeth? Oh shut up... You try coming up with this crap!)

France
SM
MD
LG
XL
2X
Dude
Lady
$15
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France

transfer / light blue ringer / 100% cotton

I don't even know what else to say about this one...

Party Champion
SM
MD
LG
XL
2X
Dude
Lady
$15
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Party Champion

silkscreen / red / 100% cotton

No, that cup is not filled with vomit and shame, it's filled with championshipism.

Rated R
SM
MD
LG
XL
2X
Dude
Lady
$15
Add to sack

Rated R

silkscreen / red / 100% cotton

No children under 17 admitted without $15

What About Me?
SM
MD
LG
XL
2X
Dude
Lady
$15
Add to sack

What About Me?

silkscreen / kelly green / 100% cotton

Now everyone can consider your needs without you having to be tear yourself away from yourself for long enough to remind them.

Exchanges

Contact us at returns@unclejackrules.com to set up an exchange. Unfortunately, we cannot issue refunds. Items must be exchanged within 30 days of purchase. Items that have been laundered or altered in any way cannot be accepted for exchange.